In the past few weeks, (almost) everyone who I have interacted with, is longing for change. Longing for love. Longing for a baby. Longing for a promotion. Longing for an acceptance letter. Longing for good grades. Longing for a break. Just longing…
And for centuries, longing has been in a complicated relationship with regret. With the unquenchable thirst for this positive change, there is this undeniable presence of regret for the decisions that have been made in the past. In retrospect, we analyze every last decision until it drives our sanity away, and with each new round of self-loathing-repenting-session, we drive our own positive energy away. We wish we had given our families more time; we wish we hadn’t left that job; we wish we had actually taken up another job; we wish we had never left our homes; we wish we hadn’t been in that abusive relationship; we wish we had made more effort with our education; we wish we had asked for help; and we wish and we wish and we wish that we had done it all differently.
But the fact is, that while we did all those things, it was only because that seemed to be the best option for us at that time. We made the conscious decisions to be a part of all those choices.
I have come to learn with great difficulty, that just as we have rejoiced in the choices that have borne fruits for us and we have taken full pride and ownership of those choices, we need to give ourselves more credit for our poorer choices too. We need to learn to take control, and be responsible for all of our successes and our failures. Its fine, we all make mistakes, and making those mistakes is part of our journey. We wouldn’t really be who we are, had it not been for those crappy, impulsive decisions.
So for all my readers, pat yourselves on the back, dust yourselves off the ground and rise. You can’t ever go back to change a decision you made, but you can certainly make the conscious effort of starting to take those decisions, which will change your ending.
Just have faith, my dear readers, for only then, it begins to get better. A lot better.
Lots of love,
P.
Stardust & Sunlight 